iT'S mY wORLD AND wELCOME tO iT
A Middle Age Male's Mental Melt Down, 
Sometimes life is more interesting, other times not. 
 (For more blog entries check out the page button Welcome to my World)

Spare a Billion Dollars Mister?
January 14, 2010
     Where have you been, you may have asked. Well in the corporate world they have asked much of me in my little paint store in Galesburg. Stress is something that we all have had to endure as our employers ask more of us and expect it to be delivered. There is nothing like feeling like a gnat’s rearend stretched over a water barrel, and then have it pulled another 4 inches. However, something had to give and you guessed it. It was this blog. I do enjoy working with most of my customers, which helps over come the demands placed upon me. Not to mention the fact that I live in a sea of estrogen, a wife, two daughters, a female cat and I think that all of the fish are female also. Where am I going with all of this you may ask? The answer is I don’t know maybe I’m just clearing my head as I address an issue that came up today as I talked and enjoyed a cup of coffee this morning with one of my customers. The subject came of I wish I had the job of a fireman where you work 24 hours on and 48 hours off. You get to sleep on the job, drink coffee and ride around in the red trucks as you visit local schools. Most people I guess do not realize that these guys do not just do that. They are constantly taking classes in fire prevention, training, cleaning the equipment to keep it in tip top shape to ensure that they save lives and property. When do most fires happen you ask, well it is at night. These fellows are the ones that run into places that most of us would be running out of. They are the ones that hear the neighbors applaud as they pull up to a blazing fire with shouts “They will save the children”. Well knowing blocks away as they approach if anyone is in the building there is no chance of survival. They endure the mental pain of finding a person who has perished in the building. These are the guys who ran up the stairs in the twin towers as everyone else was leaving. These are the guys that place their lives in peril every time the alarms rings in the firehouse alerting them to another fire. Yes, they may not fight a fire everyday in our community, however they are the ones that are there to ensure that we, the public are safe. When you see one of these fellows tell “Thank you” for the work that they do.  So much for my soap box today and I do plan to get back to you real soon, just as soon as I have gotten things under control in my little paint store.


Spare a Billion Dollars Mister?
November 24, 2008

    I’m back after a couple months of hiding from reality.  So much has transpired since the last entry, we now have a new president, banks have closed, stocks have taken a dive and our government has began to bail out the fat cats who have gotten us into this mess.  Citicorp who received billions in taxpayer’s money has their hands out once again in order to shore up the system that they have gotten themselves into.  Then comes the big three auto makers with their private jets “Of course they need it for security reasons, unlike movie stars who fly with the public and are more easily recognized”  We the public would hound the CEOs for their autographs and pictures taken with them. One needs to ask these fellows who earn up to 20 million a year in salaries “Are you really worth what you earn?  And if so, how could you allow your company, to get in such a position? How many jobs could your company save if you put part of your salary back into the company?”  This would show loyalty to your employees, while telling your customers that they want their company to be successful.  If Joe the plumber’s business or your business were in jeopardy of failing, would the government bail Joe or you out?  Would you even ask or think that our government would prop you up? I think not.  It is a given if we don’t manage our affairs properly we have to pay the price, whatever it may be.  Listen up CEOs if you do not manage your share holders business better, you are out of a job and all the money you made, you have to give it back.  Maybe then, these top dogs would be more involved and careful with the out come of these businesses.  The little guy should not have to pay the price for those who make so much and are not held responsible.  Ok, Ok, I’ll get off my soap box.  What do I know anyway, I’m just one of those little guys. Now I have forgotten where I was going with this.  Hey think the government will fund me getting a new brain…..Nawwww

Trials of Time   September 22, 2008

Raising children are one of the greatest joys of life.  It challenges you to reach for the best that one can provide and teach.  With hopes, that your instructions are the correct ones for your children.  To watch them grow from the small cute bundles of happiness and explore the world around them.  Learning from their experiences, be it right or wrong.  To utilize the information that they experienced and make plans to continue with what is positive, while correcting their mistakes.  These are items my father has expressed to me now that I’m older on how he felt watching me grow into an adult.  It’s amazing we are so much alike and I think that most parents feel this sensation.  The trials that I put my parents through had to drive them crazy with worry.  The thoughts of are they safe and should I have let them go and do something without supervision.  It is a wonder that my parents did not lock me into a room until I was 21.  The shadow of my father was so over whelming for me as a child and young adult.  There was nothing more fearful than not living up to his hopes and aspirations. You see, he was my hero.  Superman in plain clothes, there was nothing that seemed to scare him and he knew so much.  Every adult that knew him talked so highly of him and told me so.  Wow, what a father.  What a shadow to walk in, he did no wrong and was treated with respect and he gave it back.  I now know, that was earned and not given lightly in those days.  I so often made mistakes and I knew that he did not approve of many of my choices.  It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that we were able to sit down and talk as friends and then I learned there was flaws in my father.  This made him more human, not this super being of no wrong.  Moreover, how he struggled with raising my brother and me.  Making every effort to be fair and equal with his decisions towards us. How time changes the demons that haunt us as children, sending them off back to the places they crept out from.  With new ones appearing from other shadows.  Feeling the fears that my parents felt, with thoughts of am I doing what is right, am I a good parent?  Could I have done something else to better help my children for the real world?  To prepare them for the ugliness and the beauty of the people that they will meet.  Could it be that all of my mistakes have come back to taunt me and remind me I was wrong with the things I taught my children.  Oh lord do not let this be the answer.  I have had 3 great success’s  in my life, first was my wife.  I was very lucky to have her come into my life and wish to remain with me as her husband, friend and lover.  Second was my first daughter, I still to this day I remember the first time I held her right after she was born.  The worries of bringing her home without an instruction manual, scared me so much. And my last greatest success was my third daughter, so talented in music and art.  A social bug, with a heart of gold. These are the things in life that makes each and everyday worth living.

The State Cried Wolf
The State of Illinois will close local tourism sites if budget does not get balanced.? How many times have we heard this from state and or federal government? Then things get settled between politicians and everything goes on. This time the governor kept his promise, now he is closing Bishop Hill, Blackhawk state park, and many other tourism sites. The one that hits home is our beloved Carl Sandburg Birth-site. Like the little boy who cried wolf one, two many times has caught us off guard. There was very little clammier from the public to save the site, so our politicians had little ground to stand on to argue their case. I am sure that the governor?s pet projects in Chicago (where he wants to move the state capitol) did not get axed. How could they even think such a thing? Carl Sandburg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet and Lincoln biographer, a childrens author and folk song collector. He was also a musician. Born of Swedish Immigrates, Carl grew up in Galesburg and it was here that he published his first books on poetry. So now, the state says there is no need to honor such a noted Illinoisan. Whats the states latest tourism slogan? Oh yea, 'Get Away to Illinois'.? Where are the tourists going to go if everything is closed? Not only is the birth-site a local attraction it attracts international attention to Illinois. But hey the state government has no need for the millions of dollars left in the state by tourists. The City of Galesburg has no need for it since Maytag and Butler Manfg. left town. If we are to have any chance of saving the birth-site, we need to contact Rep.Don Moffitt at 217-782-8032 or leave a message for the governor (http://www.illinois.gov/gov/contactthegovernor.cfm ). Now lets do something, like pass this on to everyone you know. Then tell those in the state government to keep our sites open.


Wonderful Bits of Wisdom
Tonight I recalled the time when I was a child and I seen a commercial with a black woman picking some product.  I said aloud that she was beautiful, for a black woman.  My great grand mother who lived with us scolded me, she told me it was not the color of a person’s skin, but what was inside them that made them beautiful.  She continued with all people are equal and that I should not forget it.  My great grand mother was a woman before her time and I now thank her for all that she had taught me as a child.  She has been gone for a long time and I do miss her wisdom.  How much more she could in stow in my beliefs and my children.  I seldom watch any political speeches in depth or duration.  Mr. Obama delivered a speech that was one of dreams and hope.  I am not a Democrat, nor am I a Republican.  I have said for some time, there needed to be a revolution of sorts, Obama’s speech was filled with a call for change, a revolution of thought and actions.  It was one of the most powerful I have seen, or read.  Now if we, not he can achieve the change that needs to take place in this country.  So, if we as a people, a country and a community do not make this move for change we as a country will in time become like those empires, dynasties and great nations of the past.  Gone and only remembered in books, by those who have conquered us.  I am not saying this is the man to lead this country, nor am I saying he is not.  I guess, the point that I’m trying to get across is, we as a nation, needs to rise up and take control of our destiny.  No, I don’t mean to bear arms against our country.  Neither do I mean, someone most die or be harmed to prove a point.  I mean we as individuals need to make an effort to better the lives of our children, neighbors and those who we do not know.  Lend a helping hand, share a smile and to give as we have done so many times in the history of this great country.  We as a people need to over come the mistrust we have of those individuals and groups who are different from ourselves.  It has been these items, which those in control use to keep us from achieving the greatness each of us have within, or to solve the problems that affect our lives.  OK call me a dreamer, my father called me that many times in my life, however, I would rather dream of great things, than be a skeptic.  Even though my father called me this, he did allow me to have dreams and to reach for them.  Many of my dreams come from the old woman that made me look beyond what is only visual.  I miss my great grand mother and I wish I could remember more of those wonderful bits of wisdom.


We Don't Argue?

On our way home tonight, my wife and I talked about all kinds of things.  We had about an hour drive from Canton. You never know what direction the subject matter will go when we get going.  No, we don’t argue, (well sometimes) However that did not happened tonight.  It was a fun time and it’s nice to have time to communicate and plan our strategies when it comes to our children.  Somehow, the subject jumped over to how people tend to fall into one of three areas.  The Alfa position, this is where they take control of any group that they may be involved in.  The submissive, this group is comfortable with following the Alfa and just lying low.  They do not want to create any issues that draw attention to themselves then there is the sub-Alfa, anyone that falls into this position lays in wait for the opportunity to claim the Alfa position.  Plotting and planning for their place at the top.  This group can be the most dangerous, if you cross them while they are in the passive group, they will take revenge once in power and if you are the Alfa, well you find out that they want your spot at whatever cost. Sounds like I’m talking about a pack of wolves or any other category of animals which live in a group.  Humans are not much different, except we have the ability to think things out.  We also have figured out what it takes to remove ourselves as prey and to become the predator.  Pretty basic, it’s the cycle of life.  Fight or flight, eat or be eaten, now sit back and look at those around you and figure out who fits into which category.  Here comes the fun, once you see two Alfas come into contact its great to watch as they try to dominate one another.  What is even more wicked, is to actually witness a sub-Alfa make their move.  Now ask yourself, which group do you fall into?  Makes you think, doesn’t it.  Will you eat or be eaten?  My wife tells me that this stuff is more a guy thing, I say not.  OK...... there might have been one small disagreement.

Comment submitted on 7/24/08:  I disagree with you dad! Girls don't think like that about the whole alpha passive thing


Sysmic Detectors
Customers are one of the greatest pleasures or pains when it comes to working with the public.  They can bring a smile to your face, along with a good laugh.  Other times it can seem like an eternity in Hell.  Today was one of those days that are the first.  Steph, a painting contractor paid a visit today, she always wares a smile and finds something bright / humorous to talk about.  After a couple of good laughs, she headed off to her job site after stopping by our candy dish to grab a chocolate.  It was about thirty minutes later she called the store and said once she got back to the job site, her crew informed her that they needed more paint in another color.  Having been a contractor in the past, it always made me wonder if the crew does this on purpose just to get you off the work site so that they an goof off a while longer.  After ordering her paint she inquired how my wife was doing after her breast surgery.   I told her she was doing well with the exception of the ride I took her fo over the weekend.  Without thinking about where I was driving I managed to hit a couple of bumpy roads that also included a pair of railroad tracks.  All of the vibrations maaged to set off sysmic detectors in my wife's chest.  She politly growled 'DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND A SMOOTHER ROAD TO DRIVE DOWN" as she held her breast firmly to keep them from bouncing.  I asked what was the problem?  She proceeded to enlighten me that she never realized how much her breast absorb road movement, like the ones that come from bumps.  Steph laughed and advised me to take good care of my wife.  As you can see the conspiracy of the sisterhood is always looking over your shoulder, guys.  Oh yeah, Steph sent one of her crew back after the paint to foil their plan.  I also forgot to tell you Steph's crew consists of her husband and boys. (the boys are grown men) It's always hard to get something past a mother.

Comment submitted on 7/23/08: woooah. I could never see your wife yelling. Yipes. It's amazing what pain can do to people.

There is no fear greater than the thought of losing someone that you love.  So many times we take everything in our lives for common.  When someone has to go in for surgery, especially if it revolves around cancer it scares the _____ out of you.  When the doctor gets in their will there be more than what was first seen.  Will your loved one make it through the surgery?  Plus all kinds of other wild thoughts.  What brings this on you ask?  My wife had to go in for a biopsy of her breast.  This was the second time.  Last summer she had to have spots removed that were skin cancer.  Cancer is a nasty creature that will grow quickly if not caught early on.  Once it has secured a strong foothold, it becomes very difficult to expel from our bodies.  Moreover, if we are able to remove it, the cost on our health is heavy.  My wife is my closet friend, lover and the mother of my children, life without her would put a spin on my life that I would not like to think about.  How did the surgery go?  It went well from the doctor’s report and we will find out what it was that he removed next week.  No matter what it was she had in her, she is doing well, a little sore, but well.  She was rather funny when we waited for the surgery after the nurse juiced her up with pain killers.

Ring, Ring….Hello is that you?
Some of you must have thought that I just quit writing, no I just got lost.  To much updates on the website and family matters have taken up way to much of my time.  As I sat down to relax for a few moments, the phone rings.  It never fails just as I get comfortable the phone rings and it’s a salesperson.  What a waste of time and effort when it is.  They want to sell you siding, even if you live in a brick house or offer special cut rate phone deals if you plan on calling India.  This time however, it was the hospital calling to ask if I had received my bill of $12,000.00 plus for my over night stay while checking out my heart.  I told them yes I had and they asked if I was going to be able to pay the bill by the due date.  What’s up with this?  I’ve had to deal with a bill collector in the past and they can be persistent.  This I felt was totally out of line.  It’s one thing to try and collect on a valid bill that is past due, but this is the first time I have ever had someone call me asking for payment before it’s due.  Just think of it, it’s a whole new market for bill collectors.  A friendly call asking for payment prior to the due date, bothering you in the evening hours.  Maybe I should not have mentioned this, and started  looking for investors to help with this new up start business.  Corner the market and make my fame as the man who calls before the bill is due.  Though I’m not sure what to charge or if there really is a market out there for this idea.  Now watch, in a few months there will be something on the national news stating that there is this new company making millions from this.  I will be po'd once again, for a couple of reasons.  One, becuz I didn’t follow up on it.  Two, it will lead to more unwanted phone calls in the evening.

The Day We Stopped Laughing

If the death of Buddy Holly was the day that the music died, today was the day that we all stopped laughing.   Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s I learned the off color humor of George Carlin.   He taught me the 7 things that one could not say on television and also in my parents house.   (Unless I wished to have my mouth washed out with soap)   However, he did have a way with the English language, twisting and turning it into a very humorous encounter.   Every time he was on television I would be there watching him spin his web of sarcasm.   He made us question everything in life while making us chuckle.   There was nothing safe from George, he will be sadly missed and there will be a void in the comedy world.   There is no doubt that he was instrumental in many of today’s comedians that now entertain us.   With George’s passing on, it makes me more aware of how short life is and precious our short time here on this big blue golf ball we call Earth.   Whenever the name George Carlin came up, I knew I was going to have a good laugh.   This morning as the news reported his death a tear came to my eye.   Please enjoy this short clip from George about “Stuff.”

June 8, 2008

Very seldom is there anyone at the store for the first two hours that we are open, today was the exception.  As I pulled up there were two customers waiting for me.  The flow of people just kept coming for the following three hours.  Around one pm I finally got a chance to use the head.  It made me wish that I had not drank that last cup of coffee.  The standing did not help the swelling in my ankles either.  I was looking forward to a slow day and just maybe to put the feet up if you know what I mean.  Well it did make for a short day, but there were things that needed to be done at home.  Plants to plant, weeds to pull, the normal stuff on a husbands Sunday list.  Jack-o-light stopped by to visit with my daughter (she is back from Georgia with her Dad, they are heading back early Monday morning)  She told me that she will be a little angel when she comes back for two weeks.  I hope she keeps her promise, more estrogen, more stress aauugghhh!!!!!  The itching has stopped and now those bare spots are starting to grow in. It still will be weeks until I go topless in public. 

June 6, 2008

My ankles have swollen up again.  It took me awhile before I could call the doctor.  The thought of visiting the ER is a major turn off.  They so far have told me what is not causing the problems, however they have yet to figure out what is the problem.  Good news came my way last night, one of my best friends is back in town.  He is back to see his father who is in the hospital.  Jack, his dad has been like a father to me as I grew up.  Always there when you needed him.  A good listener and some sound advice when asked for.  I would like to spend more time with my friend, but he has limited time and he needs to spend it with his family.  I will catch up on the old times later, when the timing is better. 

June 4, 2008

Well today has been another barrel of monkeys.  The visit to my second stress test was interesting.  They filled me up with isotopes, this way I glow in the dark when they take pictures of my heart.  The bad part of this ordeal is that I have to wait until someone, who has been trained to decipher them.  That way someone like me can understand what is on them.  Make sense, it doesn’t to me either.  After they shot me up with the good stuff, I had to wait one hour before they took the photos.  Something about making sure that the isotopes where well distributed in my body.  While I sat out in the truck listening to the radio the issue of the conspiracy of the sisterhood was being discussed on the radio.  The local DJ’s was informing their listeners of the websites exboyfriendjewelry.com  and how to dispose of that unwanted items from previous encounters, while making a profit.  The other site was one on how to rate and destroy all men that had done their women wrong, this one is called Dontdatehimgirl.com.  I am so glad that I am no longer dating, thank goodness for over 25 years of marriage.  Married with children, that’s me.  Two teenage daughters and all the estrogen that any male can deal with,  I read a article in the paper this morning while at Gray’s Sandwich Shop that put me on edge.  The newest thing for young ladies to do is text message their boyfriends a naked photo of themselves.  Where  have we gone wrong?  I hope that I never hear about something like that with one of my daughters.  Too much stress….. I feel the need to scratch, I can not wait for this hair to grow back.

June 3, 2008
Six o’clock comes to quickly when you have to get up to report to the hospital for a follow up stress test.  Yes it still goes on, how is your heart.  What heart I ask, I gave it away years ago to a young lady that married me.  I think she has put it for safekeepings.  Yea, Yea, yea…..  Back to the story, I was telling.  I arrived at the hospital and checked in at the admitting office.  The lady there wanted to know if I was an organ donor and if I had a living will.  Why do they keep asking me these questions?  Are they planning on me passing away and giving my body parts out to all that need them?  Maybe there is a shortage and I look like a good candidate to fill all the orders.  Or, could it be that the grim reaper can be seen standing behind me.  All of these thoughts passed through my mind as she tagged me before I made my way up to the fourth floor where this test is to take place.  Upon getting out of the elevator, I run into Patty a friend of many years who just happens to work in this department.  Patty takes me over to where I need to go, getting things rolling.  The nurse asks all the same questions that I’ve been asked before.  “I see you had some chest pains?”  Where do they get that from?  Well we make it through the questions and then she breaks out the IV line and sticks me.  She proceeds to pull out all of the gizmos and wires that will be hooked up to me.  All of a sudden, she whips out a razor blade.  (Hey this not part of the previous programs.)  With the speed of a lightning bolt, she has shaved several spots of hair from my chest.  I now look like the forty-year-old virgin.  This is not cool.  She places plugs on to the spots she has shaved and smiles.  This has to be part of a conspiracy of the sisterhood, one of those moments women lay in wait to embarrass us men.  I now have one of two choices, shave off all of the hair on my chest (and go through weeks of itching) or just let the spots grow in and hope not to be seen with my shirt off exposing these patches of baldness.  I’ll figure this one out later….  However, I still had to endure this stress test, no big deal.  It was like running up hill forever, even if it was only 10 minutes.  My fat little legs felt like they where about to explode.  Then just as I was about to finish they shot me up with radioactive material for the test.  This will allow them to see if there is anything leaking from my heart.  I am told a lot of people do not make it all the way through the test, some only go for about a minute or better.  This makes me feel better.  Now I am shipped back down stairs to have pictures taken as I glow in the dark.  When we are finished with all of the pictures, they remind me that I need to come back tomorrow for more tests.  I can hear my wallet crying as I head out the door for the parking lot.  Shortly there after I arrive at work and I get grilled by Megan.  She’s my boss, yea…. More estrogen and one more chapter of the “conspiracy of the sister.”  I do not think it was a good idea to have told her about the razor and looking like the forty-year-old virgin.  She insisted on seeing and just about feel over laughing.  Now I know for sure I’m keeping my shirt on until it all grows back.  The rest of the day went rather well compared to the morning.  One of my best friends moved off to Georgia last May and now he has asked if his daughter could come and stay a couple of weeks this summer.  After talking it over with my wife (this is a smart move if one wishes to have a happy household.)  It is hard to say no to my friend Keith, however if his daughter tries any fast stuff.  I will pack her out on the next jet home.  She has been dating a boy back here on again and off again.  Right now, it is on again, which means she’ll try to push me.  Did I talk about stress and the lack of needing it in my life right now!!!  Talk to you tomorrow, right now I feel the need to scratch.........

May 31, 2008
Guess what happened on Friday?  I began the day 15 lbs lighter because of the medicine I was given.  Hey, this is one way to loose that unwanted weight gained from over the winter.  The only problem with this program is the cramps that came along with the weight loss, they appeared in my calves, thighs and stomach.  Once I got to work, I started cleaning up the warehouse in order to get it ready for our delivery truck.  Just making sure everything was ready for a great end of the month sale.  About an hour into my work I started to sweat heavy and my skin soon began to feel cool.  Then I felt a bit light headed and a slight tightness (like wearing an extra small t-shirt) across my chest.  But no real pain in the chest like an elephant sitting on your chest.  At least that is what I’ve been told it feels like, when you have a heart attach.  One of my customers was concerned, no lets say very concerned about me and insisted that I get in touch with my doctor.  Therefore, I informed her that I had an appointment later in the day and she said I needed to call his office NOW.  Well if I looked that bad maybe I should listen.  She asked who my doctor was and then proceeded to call his office.  The nurse told my customer that I needed to go directly as a potential emergency.  Jane my customer asked if I needed to be driven to the hospital and I said I could handle the drive.  She said she was going to follow me there, not only that she accompanied me in the ER room.  Jane then called my wife and remand with me until my wife got there.  Jane is one of those rare jewels that one comes across in their journey through life and I’m glad to know her.  Now I being stuck and wired up once again.  Two hours later, I find myself being admitted for an over night stay.  Whoopee, here comes the fun.   The stay this time was more relaxing than the last time I was in this hospital. (When the nurses came in every hour wanting a urine sample and promised to cauterize me if I did not produce)  This time there was no problem if they wanted a sample, but they never asked.  I was disappointed.  I will say  hospital food has made a real turn for the better, even though some of the employees found it interesting that I ate everything.   Have you ever wondered why they call it bed rest at a hospital when they come in every hour to check on you?  I did get a lot of visitors, which helped pass time.  Once the doctors had the time to go over all the tests I was released with the understanding that I was dehydrated from the medicine.  (For some reason I believe that I will be held responsible for the bill even if it was their decision to put me on the medicine which caused the problems)  This is what they believed caused the affects that I had felt the day before, however they still are a bit baffled about why I swelled up so much earlier in the week.  Both my family doctor and the heart specialist said that I needed to venture down the road of a diabetic diet, low sodium, low carb, low fat and less stress.  (How do you manage stress when you strive to keep your customers & bosses happy, manage a large community event that involves hundreds of reenacters and volunteers, plus two teenage daughters?  And what does this food look like?) Other wise everything seems well.

May 29, 2008
Wow, boy does time fly when get caught up in the tidal wave of life and getting old sucks.  My dad once told me not to get old, if I knew how not to get old, I'd be a billionaire and it would only cost everyone a nickel.  With that thought in mind, when I returned to work on Tuesday after the long weekend.  I realized that my feet and lower legs had swelled up big.  So I contacted the Doctor's office and they told me to go to the ER.  Now what's up with this?  Am I going to die?  It must be bad if the doc tells you that they do not want to see you.  After admitting me, they inform me that several of the signs I was showing could be related to heart problems.  Oh boy, here we go wires attached to my body from top to bottom.  The nurse tried to put an IV into both hands, she had such a hard time, my skin bent both needle.  She then said she was going to send in the reserves.  It took the tech one try, he cheated, he used this large turkey-basting needle.  Several test, a couple viles of blood and 4 hours later, I knew that it was not my thyroid, my heart was strong and my blood pressure was up.  Here take these pills and no salt. Now the question is how many thousands of dollars is this going to cost I pondered as I left the hospital.  Well these pills sure make me piss a lot.  It’s supposed to help reduce the swelling, I would say so.  If I keep this up, I just might be able to create the river levels to rise.  I know that sounds sick.  Hey, it's just a guy thing.  It's getting late I'll tell what the doc say tomorrow after I go and see him for my follow up.  I still say getting old sucks.

May 25, 2008
There are times in ones life that causes you to reflect on where one is heading.  It can also draw you deep into the deeds that one has done.  Sunday mornings make for a quiet time around my house, I usually get up early as laying in bed for any extended amount of time creates more aches than the pleasures of the warm sheets.  It is then I get a chance to replay all of the events from earlier in the week.  And there is a lot to ponder, I live in a sea of estrogen.  One wife, two daughters, a female cat, hell I think that even the fish are female.  Trying to figure out what one is to do and read between the lines can be a tricky job in my household.  It is a wondrous thing to have children, first they ask you all kinds of questions, especially when they are around the age of two.....Why, why, why.  Then as they get older (the glorious teenage years) the questions change direction.  It becomes you, that is asking the questions.  It's not that your children lie to you, they learn the fine art of withholding information.  So it becomes your job to relearn the where, when, why, who and how.  I think having children makes good practice for a writer or even an investigator.  Having been married for over 25 years I have also learned to read the facial expressions and the body language of my wife.  Most of the time it helps.  Occasionally I misread the signals and dig myself a deeper hole.  When this happens, the best thing to do is fall back on the old reserve, make a nice breakfast and serve them in bed.  Hey, I heard the sounds of movement, I better go get started on breakfast.

May 23, 2008
What a shock!  I mean every time I drive past the gas stations and glance at the prices my wallet cries.  What causes me to get mad is the fact that the prices jump 10 – 20 cents then slowly drops back 1 -2 pennies at a time.  This up and down action is like a yo-yo and the string is getting tighter around my finger.  The major oil companies was just in Washington D.C. answering questions and all they had to say was “It’s just supply and demand.”  Yeah….. We demand it and they supply it, and they continue to report record-breaking profits.  Let’s face it they intend to break this country one gallon at a time.  Of course, if you bought shares in the oil companies several years ago you too are doing well.  This has driven up the cost on everything we consume, from bread up by over 14% to meat up by 7%.  Everything is so closely connected to fuel.  So much for my soapbox performance, I guess I just won’t travel as far this holiday season.  What I do plan to do this coming weekend once, I get off from work on Saturday is make my annual trek of “graduation party” hopping.  It does make for a good and it’s nice to see so many young individuals making a break for the real world or college.  College is a place that will try the souls of students and parents both.  I have been lucky so far with my oldest daughter, however she has three more years and then my youngest will start.  Hopefully it wouldn’t lead to much hair loss or graying.  Whatever the case I am very proud of my girls, and I am sure they will do well at what ever they decide to do with their lives.  With the continuing cost of fuel I hope that I will be able to afford to drive there to see them cross the stage.

May 21, 2008
With the up coming holiday I wonder if anyone remembers when it fell on the last day of the month.  Memorial Day meant no school and the end of another school year when I was a child.  It also brings back memories of my great grand mother who complained when the government moved the holiday from 31st to the last Monday in the month.  What you need to understand is that it fell on her birthday, May 31.  So every year she not only got to celebrate her birthday, but a special day for those that had given the greatest gift of all, their life.  I loved the old woman, she helped to raise my brother and me.  Made me understand that the color of ones skin was not important.  What was important was how one acted and treated those that you came in contact with.  Sometimes I find myself sitting out next to her grave, carrying on a conversation.  It is one sided, but when an answer does come my way, it is always in the form of a comment she had already told me in the past.  Now that I'm older, her wisdom seems even wiser.  The 31st is nine days away and I know that I will find myself once more visiting with her and leaving a small stone on her grave.  What I wish that I had done was tell her I loved her one more time before she passed away.  Therefore, with that thought stop, and let your loved ones know how important they are to you.  Plus if you see someone in a military uniform stop and shake their hand, say "Thank you" they may be the next one who will give you the greatest gift of all, their life for our freedom.

May 20
Too many times we pass through this life without thinking about those that we come in contact with. Yeah, there are those that annoy us and make our blood pressure rise with just the thought of having to deal with them. It can also make us decide not to stop in at a certain store just to maintain our sense of composure. Then again they just pop up while you are driving down the road creating a brief moment of road rage. When you just want to reach out and touch someone, with a bat or club. However, there are those other people that have touched our lives for just a small amount of time. They dedicated their life to guiding and molding our way of thinking. YES I'm talking about school teachers. What brings on this you ask? Well, the other day two teachers appeared into the store that I work at. I knew that I recognized them, but time the wicked tool of mother natured had me struggling with placing where I had known them from. After assisting them with the items that they needed to complete their upcoming project, I asked for their names and then I was able to place who these 2 ladies were. We started talking about the gold old days and then came the moment I dreaded. It was when I needed to fully introduce myself. I guess I hold a rather low thought of myself, or it could just be that I got into a lot of trouble as a child. Too many times, I was sent off to the office or was held over for detention. Or just maybe it all deals with the stories my mother told, on how my brother and I was little terrors. Whatever the case, they said they did remember me but I did not stand out in their memories as being that bad. It could have also been that they were being nice and didn't want to hurt my feelings. Whatever the case may be, it was good talking to them and even though I didn't thank them for all the years of patience and hard work, they all hold a special spot in my heart. Some more than others, but they all had some effect on the way I turned out. Boy that sounds like passing the buck. When Bill Watterson came out with "Calvin and Hobbes”, I could relate very well with the way Calvin thought. Good Lord that is scary thinking about it.