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3rd Annual Rootabaga Poetry Slam, April 25th

The Rootabaga Poetry Slam was back once again as part of the Sandburg Days Festival.  Marc Kelly Smith, creator of the poetry slam in 1986, has been the host the last three years for this event at Cherry Street Restaurant & Bar, 57 S Cherry St.
 

Marc Smith, host of Poetry Slam 2009

I was privileged to see all three of these events and have to tell you this is quite a show to see.  A poetry slam is so different than a poetry reading, that I believe anyone that doesn’t mind some controversial acts, would be entertained immensely during this event. A poetry slam is much like an acting audition.  The poet must not only read his/her poem, he/she must also engage and interact with the audience. 


Marc Smith host 2009 poetry slam!

The one thing that sets this a part from any other poetry event is the audience participation.  This does not mean you will be coaxed to go up and say something (although Marc may encourage you), but as an audience member you will be able to show your encouragement or disappointment without feeling you are spoiling the show.  Who knows, you may be as lucky as my husband and I were last year and ask to be judges.  The judges rate each act on a scale from 1-10, and Marc loves to interact with the judges as well as the audience during this event. 

The poetry slam was competing against a loud rock n roll band in the next room, but the participants did not seem discouraged by the noise distration.  In fact, a few participants incorporated their act with the music. 
We had some local residents in the poetry slam too!  They both made it to the second round.


Local resident made it to second round!


Local teacher made it to second round!

When they got down to the third round, it started to get very interesting.  The winner, Gregory Pickett, was very excited to win.  He has competed all three years and this is his first year winning. 


Gregory Pickett, winner of 2009 Poetry Slam

There was tough competition for Pickett, including "Iggy" Mwela, last years winner, but he managed to pull through to win the event.


"Iggy" Mwela, runner-up at 2009 Poetry Slam


Made it to the 3rd round at 2009 Poetry Slam

 So be sure to look for next years fourth annual poetry slam and make it a point to enjoy this entertaining, never dull event in which we are lucky enough to have Marc Kelly Smith host.  Go to www.slampapi.com  for more information on the founder of poetry slams.

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 Allison Bates
Review: The Haunting In Connecticut
March 29, 2009 

 Before I went to see The Haunting In Connecticut, I was not sure what to expect from it. I'd heard some discussion of the film's story throughout the week, since A Haunting In Connecticut, a documentary covering the same subject matter, had aired on cable several times. Supposedly, the movie was based on a true story, which I was dubious of, and seeing a little bit of the documentary before going made me even more doubtful. When I watch horror movies, I'm also normally very tired, so I wasn't sure how I would react to one while I was fully awake. Despite these doubts, however, I enjoyed and was entertained by The Haunting In Connecticut.
 The story of The Haunting In Connecticut is fairly straightforward. Matt Campbell, played by Kyle Gallner, is dying of cancer, and the hospital running the trial that his mother, played by Virgina Madsen, hopes will cure him is a long drive from their house. Because of this, she decides to rent the most convenient house she can find in the same area as her son's hospital and moves her family, including their two nieces, into the aforementioned house as quickly as she can. As the title implies, however, the house has the less than desirable quality of containing some really agitated ghosts. This leads to some strange problems, which most of the movie revolve around.
 For the most part, I had a good time watching The Haunting In Connecticut. I had never seen a haunted house movie before, but it fit my expectations of what ought to happen in one, right down to the religious authority that has an unlikely amount of information about what's going on. I was interested in what was going on, and the background of the house was weird enough that I don't think it would have been easy to see all of it coming. For the first part of the movie, the haunting doesn't really involve anything that couldn't be explained by faulty wiring or the main character losing his mind, but even in that segment of the film, there were some interesting phenomenon, with one scene that involved more furniture than any kitchen should ever have being especially impressive.
 Though I did like the movie, I had a couple of fairly unimportant problems with it. One of these was that if the house had been in the state in which the Campbell family rents it for nearly one hundred years, there were several public health officials and local investigative reporters failing at their jobs. There are two features of the house in particular that seem like they'd be very noticeable, but if they'd been removed before the events that occur in the film, things would probably make considerably less sense. I was also slightly distressed by the fact that at two different times, the movie seemed like it was going to end and then kept going. It wasn't that I was bored, or even that the movie seemed very long. For no particular reason, it just seemed odd for the movie to make it look like it had resolved everything and then, in the next five minutes, start exploding things again.
 My problems with The Haunting In Connecticut were outweighed by the parts of it that I enjoyed. A lot of weird and disturbing things happened in the movie's slightly over ninety minute length, and it wasn't at all boring. Even if I had disliked the film, a scene towards the middle in which the main character is examining something and realizes quickly what it is would have made up for at least twenty-five minutes of not being entertained.

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ORPHEUM THEATRE RED CARPET SERIES RECEIVES SPONSORSHIP GIFT FROM OSF ST. MARY MEDICAL CENTER

GALESBURG, IL.   The Orpheum Theatre received a contribution of $2,500 from OSF St. Mary Medical Center toward co-sponsorship of the April 17 "Lowe Family" event.   OSF St Mary Medical Center CEO Dick Kowalski presented Orpheum president Kate Francis with the check.

"OSF St. Mary Medical Center is celebrating its 100th Anniversary of providing exceptional healthcare to Galesburg and the surrounding region," remarked Mr. Kowalski.  "OSF St. Mary Medical Center is proud to support the Orpheum Theatre which has also served our community for nearly a century."

Dick Kowalski & Kate Francis

"We are grateful for OSF St. Mary's generous support for the Red Carpet Series," said Ms. Francis.  "There are only a handful of organizations that have the longevity of service that OSF St. Mary Medical Center and the Orpheum Theatre share.  While OSF St. Mary Medical Center cares for our community's physical well-being, the Orpheum cares for its mental well-being.  Our goal is that everyone walks away from an Orpheum Theatre event elated, inspired, encouraged or simply whistling a tune they just heard and can't get out of their head."

"From the sounds of it, "The Lowe Family" may just provide all of the above!" joked Mr. Kowalski. "The Lowe Family" hails from Branson, MO and performs regularly at the Lawrence Welk Theatre when they aren't touring nationally and internationally.  The Friday, April 17 performances will include a broad range of musical tastes from bluegrass to classical to patriotic.  Tickets are still available for both the 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. shows and may be purchased on-line at www.theorpheum.org, by phone 309-342-2299 and at the Orpheum Theatre box office at 250 East Main Street in Galesburg.

 The Orpheum Theatre is committed to providing quality live entertainment opportunities to the Galesburg and surrounding communities.   The Orpheum is a 501c3 charitable organization so moderate ticket prices and exceptional production quality are made possible by the generous support of individual and corporate contributors.   The 2008 Red Carpet Season is generously supported by these organizations:   City of Galesburg, GateHouse Media, Galesburg Radio, Comcast Spotlight, Illinois Arts Council and Knox County.
 

Kate Francis, President and Managing Director
Orpheum Theatre
309-342-2299
kate@theorpheum.org

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Allison Bates
Movie Review: Coraline
 March 15th, 2009

  Before I went to see Coraline, my expectations for the movie were very high. Being a gigantic nerd, I was excited to see a new animated movie in town, especially one based on a novel by Neil Gaiman, who writes comic books and fantasy novels, including the one on which the 2007 film Stardust was based. Since it arrived in Galesburg after being out for over a month, I'd had plenty of time to build up a nicely unrealistic idea of what to expect from the movie, but I was not disappointed.
  The story of Coraline centers around Coraline, a junior high girl who has just moved far away from her home to an old and bizarre apartment building. Her parents are always working, leaving her to feel bored and abandoned, and the grandson of the woman renting them the apartment really irritates her. Because of this, when she finds an alternate universe through a small door in her house and everything in it caters specifically to her, she's very excited to spend as much time as she can there. After a bit of time in the alternate world, however, she realizes that it is actually an incredibly dangerous place and has to save herself from its traps.
  Coraline was actually more disturbing than I expected it to be. Since the director, Henry Selick's previous films included The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach, I really shouldn't have expected a cheerful romp through fields of strawberries, but a combination of forgetfulness and the initial cuteness of the characters made it so that the extremity of the eventual mortal peril caught me off guard. However, I feel that this worked to the film's advantage. If Coraline hadn't been made an appealing character in the first part of the film, it wouldn't have mattered what happened to her in the second half. As it is, though, the second part of the movie is exciting and even sort of creepy because of the likability and relative normalcy of the titular character.
  Another thing that I really liked about Coraline was the quality of the animation used. Instead of using CG, as most recent animated films have, the vast majority of Coraline was done in stop motion animation, which looks very impressive. The models used for the animation are very detailed, down to their handmade clothing, and there were certain scenes where the sets were so full of interesting things to look at that I hardly noticed the characters themselves. Rather than being distracting, the slight choppiness of the stop motion also added to the look of the film, working as a reminder that it had been done by hand. My biggest complaint about the animation is that the movie was made to take advantage of 3D technology, something which is not available in Galesburg's theaters, and in some scenes, it is very clear what would be popping out at the viewers. While watching Coraline in 2D, this seems a little odd.
   In other reviews of Coraline, there has been some question as to if the film is too much for younger viewers. Though the theater I saw it in was not full, there were some younger children present, and they did not at all seem ready to run from the theater screaming. The movie had unusual characters and an interesting story, as well as being well animated, and I think that many children, as well as adults, would enjoy Coraline.

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Orpheum Theatre Names Volunteer of the Year

Galesburg, IL.  On Sunday, March 1, the Orpheum Theatre administration and Knox County Civic Center Authority honored Roger Dykeman as the 2008 Volunteer of the Year.  Roger has been an integral part of the Orpheum’s volunteer family for more than 10 years, contributing over 1,000 hours of valuable time.  Roger’s easy going, down to earth personality makes him a favorite not only of his volunteer colleagues and staff, but also to the many patrons that attend shows in downtown Galesburg.

When asked about his favorite aspect of volunteering at the Orpheum Theatre, Roger said without missing a beat, “Working with the patrons.”

“Roger puts his community and neighbors before himself,” said Josh Damewood, Orpheum operations manager.  “He’s a tremendous asset to the Orpheum Theatre.”

In addition to his many hours of service to the Orpheum as well as working thirty hours a week as custodian of First Lutheran Church, Roger is active with the Galesburg Historical Society, the Blackhawk Chapter of the Isaac Walton League of America, Giant Goose Conservation Educational Workshops, Chocolate Fest and Railroad Days.

“The Independent Sector values volunteer time at $19.51 per hour,” said Kate Francis, Orpheum president.  “If we didn’t have more than 50 volunteers providing ushering, concessions and ticket services, it would cost the Orpheum well over $55,000 to pay for such positions.  That figure makes Orpheum volunteers one of the largest annual contributors to the Theatre.”

Kate Francis, President and Managing Director
Orpheum Theatre
309-342-2299
kate@theorpheum.org

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Allison Bates
Review of Tim Bedore at the Orpheum: November 15th, 2008

 Before November 15th, 2008, I had never seen a stand-up comedian of my own free will. During orientation at the college I go to, I had to see two comedians that yelled at everyone who didn't laugh. That made for a slightly terrifying experience, especially since I didn't think they were all that funny. On November 15th, however, I went to see a different stand-up comedian, Tim Bedore, at the Orpheum Theater in Galesburg, Illinois, and was thankfully not frightened at all. Even if he had taken to intimidating members of the crowd, which he didn't, I would have been safe, because I laughed at almost every joke of his set.
 Tim Bedore is a comedian from Minnesota that many local readers will know from his weekly segment on The Bob and Tom Show which is also aired on NPR's Marketplace, Vague But True. This segment is where I first heard his comedy, and I was very impressed by it. Because of this, I was quite excited to see his live show. Not only was I getting to see a comedian I'd heard of, but I was also getting to see the only comedian that I'd ever bothered to search for on Google, leading me to spend far too much time reading essays on his website, http://www.vaguebuttrue.com.
 At Tim Bedore's show at the Orpheum, he was preceded by a brief opening act from Mason City, Illinois comedian Chris Speyrer. After that, Tim Bedore performed for around an hour and a half, and never once during that length of time became boring. The first part of his set consisted of traditional stand up, based more around telling stories than telling jokes. Most of the stories centered around subjects such as his hometown, his daughter, Catholic school, and advertisements for Cialis, alongside jokes about the amount of corn grown in the area and the probability of a commercial aircraft landing in Galesburg. This material was very well received, both by myself and the audience at large.
 Though I really enjoyed the first part of Tim Bedore's stand up act, the second part of the show was my favorite part. It consisted of a Power Point slide show entitled A Horrible Truth, which detailed a conspiracy enacted by members of the animal kingdom in an effort to destroy as many humans as possible. The slide show presented evidence for Bedore's theory in the form of photographs and videos showing several species of animals perpetrating violent acts upon humans, such as a video of a deer pounding on a hunter with its hooves and a photograph of a moose climbing a telephone pole. All of the slide show's bits of evidence were delivered in a deadpan fashion, which made it all the funnier when it segued into such points as pictures of a ceramic statue of Jesus playing hockey with small children.
 I probably don't need to say so again, but I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Tim Bedore perform at the Orpheum and laughed very hard throughout his entire routine. It is worth pointing out, however, that the show's announcer mentioned that Galesburg radio station 92.7 The Laser, who sponsored the show, was hoping to bring more comedy to the city. Judging from my own enjoyment and the laughter that I heard around me, it sounds like a really good idea. It was great to get a chance to see a well-known comedian, and one that I was a fan of at that, at a local venue, and I hope to get the chance again.

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Allison Bates
Movie Review: Gran Torino
January 11, 2009
Regardless of any advantages that it might otherwise have, Gran Torino is one of two movies to have opened in Galesburg since Christmas. Because of this, Clint Eastwood's reputation as a director, a heavy advertising campaign, and a large amount of awards show buzz in praise of the film, the theater that I saw it in was overwhelmingly crowded. The film opened last year in a very limited release and, this week, got a wider release to include theaters outside of larger cities. Because of this, the movie has been able to reach theaters outside of major metropolitan areas, such as Galesburg.
      In Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood stars as Walt Kowalski , a recently widowed man living in Michigan. He is fairly disconnected from the rest of the world, as he has a poor relationship with his family and no real interest in organized religion, and is preoccupied with his horrifying experiences in the Korean War. His difficulty with other people is increased by his overt racism, particularly because he lives in a town with a large immigrant population. After saving a teenage boy, Thao, and his sister, Sue, from an incident of gang related violence, however, he develops a close relationship with the family of Hmong immigrants that live next door to him.

      Unlike the other movies that I've reviewed, I do not feel like I have to defend the fact that I have been issued a driver's license and voter registration card when I say that I liked Gran Torino. It was a thoughtful and intelligent movie with the goal of showing how prejudice harms people's relationships with one another, set in a fairly realistic world. Though at some points, it was very disturbing and violent, these parts of the movie were not gratuitous or used without reason. My biggest problem with the movie was that some of the less prevalent characters seemed placed solely to make a point. Walt's children and grandchildren are irredeemable twits, showing the lack of respect that he receives from even his own family, and the persistent priest sent to Walt by his dead wife seems placed to show the power that Catholicism holds to improve his life.
  Throughout Gran Torino, it is difficult to forget that the movie aims to show the errors inherent in racist thought. Because of this, I was very disturbed that several members of the audience repeatedly laughed, and boisterously at that, at the racial slurs that Clint Eastwood's character says throughout the movie. As disturbing as this might have been in any context, it was especially uncomfortable to watch a movie that was explicitly about why saying such things was detrimental to society while people laughed at the very statements that the movie was condemning like they were watching a sitcom. True, there were a couple of scenes between Walt and his barber that made fun of the excess of racism present in the characters' lives, but people were laughing at the serious uses of racist language just as much, if not more.
  Though I was at times disturbed by the reaction of some of the audience members to certain parts of Gran Torino, I recommend the movie. While having a new movie in town may in itself be a good enough reason to go to the theater, Gran Torino is an intelligent film that's worth the trip to the theater. Plus, seeing it at this point will give you a temporary sense of pop cultural superiority, considering the role that it's playing in the year's awards season.

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Allison Bates
Movie Review: Yes Man
December 22, 2008

 In writing this review for Yes Man, the new Jim Carrey movie, I have to hurry in case I forget the movie before I finish writing. It isn't that I strongly disliked the movie. Nothing in it angered or offended me, and I wasn't really that bored while watching it. If I had disliked it, I would have plenty to say about it, as readers of my previous reviews may know. I just didn't like it all that well, either. There are very few movies I have had less of a reaction to than Yes Man, and I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.
 The plot of Yes Man is easy to explain and probably known to most people who have seen the plentiful previews for the film. Jim Carrey plays Carl, a loan officer who happens to be an antisocial jerk that strongly dislikes taking risks. This means that he spends a lot of time saying no to things. When he goes to a self-help seminar about saying yes to things, however, he ends up saying yes to every question that he's asked or offer that he's given. As it can probably be assumed, this leads to endless wackiness. Carl also has a romantic interest, played by Zooey Deschanel, who figures significantly into the effects of his pact to say yes to everything, and a group of friends that frequently take advantage of his predicament.
 Though I didn't have any serious problems with Yes Man, I was rather irritated by some aspects of it. One of the things that did annoy me, though it may be unfair of me to say so, was that I really started to resent the fact that the movie was trying to teach me a lesson. I went to the movie to see Jim Carrey do something stupid, and though he did do so plenty of times, it was never overshadowed by the filmmakers' apparently intense desire to have me learn about taking advantage of what life has to offer. I was also annoyed, though less blatantly so, by Carl's demeanor towards the beginning of the film being so unpleasant that it was difficult to understand why no one shot him before he started saying yes to things, let alone why people would have been trying so hard to remain friends with him.
 My problems with Yes Man were about balanced out by the parts of it that I did enjoy. There were quite a few entertaining things in it, including a brilliant use of a Third Eye Blind song. I also enjoyed the performance given by Rhys Darby, of the television show Flight of the Conchords, who played Carl's excessively nerdy boss. The film also moved along steadily enough that I never got distressed and wondered how soon it would be until it ended, though the plot of the film moved in a manner so that at any point in the movie, I could tell exactly how far into the movie it was by looking at what was going on.
 As I hope I've gotten across at this point, Yes Man left me with an extreme feeling of indifference. It had no major problems that ruined the movie for me, but it also didn't have anything outstanding about it at all. I don't regret having spent two hours of my life watching it, but I also don't think I'd watch it again if I flipped by it on television. Yes Man was a completely and totally inoffensive film that inspired absolutely no emotion, either positive or negative, in me after the movie had ended.

Allison Bates
Movie Review: Taken
February 15th, 2009
Taken reminded me of watching someone who'd been given way too much to practice play a video game. The main character runs from one place to another and takes on dozens of people, barely getting hurt himself, as he tries to rescue his daughter from a group of menacing villains. Like a video game, the explanation of the story is relegated to the film's beginning, before the action has a chance to get started. Liam Neeson plays Brian Mills, a retired divorcee who is trying to reconnect with his estranged seventeen year old daughter, played by Maggie Grace. However, he also happens to be someone trained by the government to be awesome at killing people, which comes in handy when his daughter goes to Paris and is kidnapped by a human trafficking ring. There are some other details involved in the plot, but things don't really get any more complicated than the summary here.
  Once the story is set up and on its way, the movie consists of watching Brian Mills pound on things in a really elaborate fashion. He does beat people up in a rather impressive way, racking up a high body count as he moves from location to location on his quest to rescue his daughter, but a lot of the time, his methods just seem unnecessary. There are exploding buildings, civilians getting shot in the arm, and people getting jumping off of overpasses and getting hit by trucks, among several other really confusing deaths, in Taken, and none of the characters really seem that surprised by any of what happens to them. I suppose that in the case of the main character, being trained to punch someone so hard that they die would make a lot of things in a fight less surprising, but it seems like one of his opponents should have been at least briefly bothered by the fact that they were fighting someone that could kill anyone in three kicks.
  The characters' reactions to the fights that they were in was not the only inexplicable thing in Taken. In a very bizarre scene early in the film, Brian Mills and his friends are shown sitting around a table and talking about their good old days in the military as casually as if they were discussing working at a tropical fish store, just to show off how tough the characters were. It's also never specified what the main character did for the military, although, as the entire film demonstrates, it must have been pretty exciting for him to have learned half of the skills that he utilizes. Liam Neeson's American accent was very strange as well, changing in intensity throughout the movie, and, as my sister pointed out after the movie ended, the viewer was constantly reminded that the characters were in France by all of the people carrying baguettes down the street with them.
  As many complaints as I have about Taken, I think that most of them seem to be a bit of a moot point. The movie seems to have been made with the sole purpose of watching Liam Neeson kill a bunch of people, and, during the movie's 93 minute running time, Liam Neeson does indeed kill a bunch of people. Even though I sat through the movie with serious doubts about the information gathering methods of Brian Mills and trying to figure out if a wad of used chewing gum covered in Pixy Stix powder would be more or less intelligence than his daughter, I never really got bored. Plus, it was a lot of fun to look at the seat next to me and see that my sister was just as bewildered as I was.

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A Visitor Submitted a Review of
Twilight: The Movie
By Zaac Moberg
Submitted on 12/09/08

    I walked into the local movie theatre tonight with a smile on my face and a ticket in my hand. I was going to see Twilight, a movie based on the bestselling novel by Stephanie Meyers. I gave the ticket taker my ticket, got my hot, greasy, bag of popcorn and my 32 oz. soda and sat down for what I thought would be two hours of absolute bliss. The movie came and went. I left the theatre almost in tears. However, these tears were not tears of joy, tears of amusement, or tears of sadness. They were tears of bewilderment; bewilderment about how a movie that was so hyped up and based on an amazing book could be so completely and utterly horrible. 

     The movie centers around a young girl named Isabella (Bella) Swan(played by Kristen Steward). She has just moved out of her mother’s house in Phoenix, Arizona and goes to live with her father in the gloomy, rainy, and somewhat beautiful town of Forks, Washington. When she arrives in Forks she meets many young, attractive and popular teenagers at her new high school that happen to think she is somewhat of the cat’s meow. She also ends up meeting five estranged “teenagers” that happen to be vampires. During the story Bella ends up falling in love with Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson), who is one of the five vampires that attends her school. However, life dating a vampire isn’t that easy, even though this particular vampire and his family don’t drink blood. Bella is soon wrapped up in a world that should only exist in fairy tales.

  The movie did a really stand up job of staying close to the storyline of the book. The director only cut out a few things that probably should have been in there. One of these things is the blood typing incident, (COME ON THAT TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE MOVIE!)  And the other was that Jasper’s abilities were never mentioned, and Alice’s abilities were barely explained.  Besides those two little parts, the director (Catherine Hardwicke) did a spectacular job of deciding what should be left in the movie, and what should be taken out.

Now it’s time to move on to the bad points of the movie (prepare yourself, they’re numerous). First, and most importantly, is the acting. Hoooooooooly cow can you get any more bland?  Kristen Stewart did a terrible, yes TERRIBLE job of portraying Bella. Bella’s attitude (according to the book) is supposed to be one of confidence, yet with a touch of self awareness. She’s also not supposed to be afraid of vampires.  Kristin’s voice was monotone almost the entire movie, and her body language was stiff and forced throughout the entire movie. All in all, she did exactly what she does in every movie; sit and read lines with the least amount of enthusiasm and confidence that she can muster.  

    Let’s move on to dear Edward. Mr. Pattinson actually didn’t too bad of a job, but whoever cast this was a moron for letting Edward (who was born in Chicago) be played by a British guy. Several times throughout the movie he started getting into his British accent but would then quickly switch back to an American accent. This was so obvious at some points that I ended up getting distracted from everything else.  Other than that, he was pretty ok though.

As for the rest of the cast, I’ll just say that most of their acting looked forced and really fake, so fake perhaps that it was even over the top for a fantasy movie.

Next let’s talk about the TERRIBLE, HORRIFIC, EYE GOUGING, special effects.

This entire movie was rope-foo. It honestly looked like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon in the sense that people, er, vampires were flying all over the place by simple rope pulling techniques.  The reason this is so annoying is that unlike Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, this movie was made in 2008. We have all sorts of editing and special effects software to make the effects in this movie look more realistic then what was used. Another terrible special effect used was the one to make the vampires skin glow like diamonds. In all honesty, I barely even realized that Edward was glowing. Stephanie was inspired by the vampires glowing skin, and it says in the book that vampire’s skin was supposed to basically shoot light. In the movie, you got a tiny itsy bitsy little glow. In short, it sucked. Actually, all the special effects made me want to cry and cut my wrists to end the terrible suffering that my brain was enduring by watching this film…or at least leave the theatre. However, my being shoved in between my lovely girlfriend and a slightly obese man prevented me from getting up and walking out.

Finally, comes the subject of sound. For the most part, that’s exactly what it was. Sound. The music in the movie was dull and boring, and even Bella’s song was boring and uninteresting. The effects were for the most part just your usual effects, but when it got to the climactic scene near the end, I was surprised to witness the absence of a certain nail grating sound *SPOILERS* when a vampire is killed. All in all, the sound was extremely uninteresting.

All in all, if you’re a diehard Twilight fan that can stand watching movies with actors as talented as Jr. High students getting ready for their first play, and special effects that rival those of a College student in film editing 101, you’ll love this movie. If you’re an average Joe with semi-reasonable taste in movies, get ready to sit through two hours of boredome. What’s worse than both of these types of people is if you’re like me: A diehard Twilight fan with semi-reasonable tastes in movies. If you’re like me, you’ll find yourself sitting through two hours of raging hell. All in all, Twilight: the Movie gets a two, out of ten.

©Zaac Moberg 2008.

Movie Review
Allison Bates

Review for Twilight

November 23, 2008

            When I was watching Twilight, the new film based on Stephanie Myers' immensely popular book series, which I have not read, I considered a number of things. Many of these had absolutely nothing to do with the film, such as when I thought about breaking my pact to stop biting my nails or tried to figure out how hard I would have to hit the pom pom on my hoodie's drawstring to make it hit me in the face. Some of the things that I considered, had a lot to do with the movie on the screen before me. For instance, I was amazed that two hours could drag on for what seemed like nine years, and it seemed really impressive that an entire high school, even a fictional one, could be populated by students that spent ninety percent of their time staring off into space. I know that many people are very excited about Twilight's release, and in a positive manner, but I thought it was an atrocious movie.

            The plot of Twilight, at the very least, is fairly easy to follow. Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, has just moved to a small town in Washington from Phoenix to live with her father.  In this small town, of course, she has to attend a new high school. Even though nearly every male in the school is apparently in love with her, she focuses her attention on Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), the one that asks to be taken out of a science class to avoid sitting next to her. Though in the real world, this would do a relationship absolutely no good, in Twilight, this is the first sign of true love, and it isn't long before Bella and Edward spend expansive stretches of film staring into each other's blank eyes to express their undying devotion to one another. Their love, however, is complicated by the fact that Edward is a vampire who has been seventeen since 1918, and also because his attraction to Bella comes from his intense desire to suck all of the blood out of her veins.

            There are several other things that happen in Twilight, such as trips to the beach and a murder mystery and a vampire baseball game, but nothing in it takes precedent over Bella and Edward's infatuation driven staring contests. The two of them do have conversations about such things as what it's like for Edward to be a vampire, how Edward became a vampire, and many other things relating to Edward and his being a vampire, but their time spent talking is minuscule compared to their time spent just looking at each other. They stare at each other in a number of locales, such as the school, a restaurant, a forest, a hospital, and even in Bella's house. Though I don't really want to spend a lot of time watching people gaze into each other's eyes, it wouldn't have been so bad if Bella and Edward hadn't been the least interesting characters in their own movie. When Edward's family is involved in the movie, it really picks up, since the members of his family are all given their very own personalities. I would have gladly watched an entire movie about the ditzy vampire girl who could see the future and her owl-eyed boyfriend, or even Edward's snotty bleach blond sister, but characters like them are relegated to the background of Edward and Bella's monotone love story.

            Another problem that I had with Twilight was that it was very oddly made. I can see the entire film being gray and foggy, since it was set in Washington and the filmmakers probably wanted to give the audience a sense of dreariness. What I have more trouble understanding is the choice to make several of the characters in the film stand really close to each other while talking. I'm sure it was supposed to make things look romantic, but really, it just made me wonder if Twilight's fictional Washington had abolished the idea of personal space. A number of conversations in the movie are also conducted almost entirely through close up shots of characters' faces, so if you've ever been really curious to see what Robert Pattinson's pores look like, this is indeed the film for you. The camera also seems to do an unnecessary amount of spinning around in the middle of the outdoor scenes, which really shouldn't be bothersome, but grew to be incredibly distracting during at least two scenes.

            Like I said at the beginning of this review, I have never read any of the Twilight book series. As you can probably infer from the rest of my review, the film adaptation did not give me any burning desire to do so. Because of this, I cannot give an accurate representation of what a fan of the series would think of this film. As an outsider, however, I can only say that I disliked Twilight so much that it actually made me feel sleepy. It wasn't the fact that I found the film stupid that bothered me, since I like plenty of things that are, in fact, stupid, but if any movie featuring a vampire baseball game proves to be boring, there is something seriously wrong with it.